I have to open this new blog of Lee (London) and Jo (Minnesota) with the first rant.
I live in five-person house in North London, which, until recently, enjoyed cable TV and broadband Internet. Nothing unusual about us so far. We decided to change. Oh no.
You see dear readers, once you join something here, you are with them for life. I can’t close this cable TV and Internet account at our home as the account is in the name of my former Dutch flatmate, who moved to Thailand over 6 months ago.
I also, I am told, cannot pay the account as I can’t access the details, which are in his name and they cannot breach data protection. I, however, can face a court summons for not paying. I am not protected against that.
I am also unable to reopen another account in my name as we have the aforementioned existing account at our address, as you can see; one which I am unable to close, move my name to or even pay for.
As fascinating background for non-UK residents, this cable company NTL, which was heavily in debt, merged with Telewest, the only other cable company here in the UK, also heavily in debt, to create, it seems, an even bigger mess. If the two companies were in debt to begin with, it suggests to me that things were not going to plan and their desire to wed, under these circumstances, is more incredible than Anna Nicole’s sexual passion and love for a corpse with money.
Now, Richard Branson of Virgin fame has bought this combined entity, a man, who can put a plane in the sky and tilting trains on tracks but somehow has difficulty in making people in the communications industry, well… communicate between each other.
I did communicate with them- and was bleeped out – telling them that I would not be paying for any further services. This was not taken as the threat it was meant to be, as the friggin account is tied to Van Friggin Gogh anyhow and any “failure to pay” proceedings will be issued to him. In Thailand. Somewhere.
Finally, a few days ago, NTL closed the account and switched off cable TV. We cheered. We drank. We toasted life. We can get another provider. Free at last.
Last night, cable TV miraculously switched itself back on. The NTL poltergeist still lurks terrifyingly in our house. They can’t even close it down properly. They are set to haunt me forever. I don’t think I have the energy to move. Branson, you owe me, motherf*cker.
